Transparency

A friend of mine recently described being a mom like this: the days are long but the years are short.  Somehow fall is rushing by and my sweet boys are getting bigger whether I want them to or not.  Caleb is walking and talking and Jonah is turning 4 this week and I guess that's what happens when you have kids.  

So I'm almost through my big transition of "stay-at-home mom" to "working mom" and it has been a whirlwind, to say the least.  This routine is starting to feel normal, and I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I don't win the award for Mom Who Can Do It All and Make It Look Easy.  Working moms, I'm on to you.  It's a total farce that women can work and be a mom and wife, and keep their house sparkling, and cook delicious, healthy meals and still have a social life, exercise and volunteer... unless you stop sleeping altogether.  Or clone yourself.  I'm learning that I just need to be ok with the state of my house.  When I have the choice of building a fort with my boys or washing the dishes, I'm gonna choose the fort every time.  Maybe this comes easier for some people.  I'm super hard on myself and it's been rough for me.  But it's settling down and we survived the first couple months and no one has suffered any catastrophe, unless you count almost having to wear a bathing suit for underwear when the laundry had piled up.  (And I didn't even have to because I found some old underwear in the back of my drawer that hadn't fit since before Caleb was born.  Victory all around!)  

The last few weeks have reminded me more than ever why I'm committed to being a transparent person, especially as a follower of Jesus.  I'll be honest, when people have asked me lately how I'm doing with my new job and routine, I have given the Super Mom answer sometimes ("It's great!") instead of being honest and saying that while I love my new job, and feel totally sure that this is what God has called me to do for this season of my life, I feel so overwhelmed sometimes.  I want to say it's a breeze, because I want to be a strong woman in everyone's eyes, including my own.  But God's been nudging me more and more when someone asks how I'm doing, reminding me how important it is to be truthful and real.  And I know why that's so important... because nobody feels like they can admit to being weak when everybody else seems tough.  I'm so not tough right now.  I feel weaker than I've ever been.  God keeps reminding me that it's when I am overwhelmed and weak that HIS strength is the most obvious.  If I was capable of handling everything on my plate, what room is there for God to come in and do His thing?  So it's been a great time for me, not because I'm seeing how strong and capable I am, but because I'm seeing how limited and weak I actually am.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you for helping me understand that it's so much better to be weak than to be strong.  And help me to be an encouragement to my friends, to encourage them that we aren't the strong, competent people we want to be, but that we're really helpless without You.  And that's a good thing.  So be encouraged with me, fellow weaklings.  Let's wear our weakness like a badge of honor, knowing that we are just pointing people to the ONE who is the Rock, our Strength and Shelter, Jesus!