Thursday, March 31, 2011

sweet boys

I will be absolutely shocked if Jonah doesn't pursue music as he gets older; the boy is constantly singing and playing instruments.  I would've given anything to have been videotaping him the other day.  I was in the dining room cleaning up and Jonah had gotten out his guitar and was playing on the couch.  I heard him singing the song "All in All", only these were his modified lyrics:

Jesus, Lamb of God,
Wormy is your name.

It's supposed to be "worthy", but I'm sure Jesus was still happy.  This was the very same jam session that Jonah began by saying into his "microphone" (which is an old car charger cord for a phone), completely to himself while I was in another room, "OK, let's pray.  Jesus, help me play music. Aaaaaaa-men."  To my knowledge, this is Jonah's first self-motivated prayer and I will never forget it.  Like I said, I think this kid will be playing music for a long time.  I can just see him saying that very same prayer 20 years from now, only with a real microphone, and standing in front of his church family.  We'll see.  It's fun to dream about what God will do with my boys.  Of course, if I'm only judging this based on what comes out of my son's mouth nowadays, there are still many other possibilities.  I mean, this is the same boy who draped a throw blanket around his shoulders a couple days ago and paraded into the kitchen while I was cooking supper and said, "Look Mommy!  I'm a queen and this is my dress!"  His daddy was really happy about that one.  God, I know I say that I want you to use my boys however would best honor you, but if I get a vote, I choose worship leader over queen.  Amen.

Oh, my boys.  I love typing that little phrase.  My boys.  It is so sweet to be a mom to two little boys.  I have nothing to compare it to, since I don't have a daughter, but I think boys are something special to a mommy.  They just melt my heart.  Today I was changing Caleb's diaper and he gave me the biggest grin (like he knew I needed some cheering on) and I just could've burst.  You know you're in love when you can burst with happiness while cleaning up poop.  I used to ask my mom how you ever can love another child as much as you love your first, and now that question seems so stupid.  Somehow, some way, I love this little sweetie just like I love my big sweetie.

Speaking of sweeties, my Main Sweetie's birthday was yesterday.  (That would be my husband, in case you're having a hard time keeping track of all the sweeties.)  To celebrate, we went to see Bill Cosby in Muncie last Saturday for our first date night since Caleb's birth.  It was so great, spending time together as a couple.  I have really missed Daniel in a way.  Obviously we're together all the time, but the demands of a new baby on top of a 2-year old have left us with scarce quality time.  Saturday we sat and talked at dinner for a long time and I was reminded just how fortunate I am to be married to him.  I really hit the husband lottery.  After 2 kids and almost 7 years of marriage, I can sincerely say that we are closer than ever and that I am still crazy about this man.  Ironically, that night listening to Bill Cosby, he made a lot of jokes about marriage, and while I laughed at them, I have thought about some of the cliches he used.  He joked about how once kids come along, the husband is kinda pushed to the side and forgotten.  You know, that really has never been us.  Daniel is, and always will be, my greatest (earthly) love.  My children are more dear to me than I can describe, but Daniel has first place in my heart.  He is my best friend and my perfect partner.  He is the kind of man that I hope my sons become.  I trust him and respect him more than anyone I know.  A long time ago, I told one of the teens in my youth group that marrying Daniel was the best decision I ever made, and I believe that more and more the longer we are married.  So happy birthday to you, sweet husband.  Thank you for being in my life and for making my life so good.  Wow, my blessings are stacked high.  Makes it really hard to complain about how little sleep I'm getting when I think about how good I really have it.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Is it April yet?

It's a very terrible habit wishing time away and as a rule I try not to do it, no matter what it is I'm looking forward to or wanting to get over with.  And every year, about this time, I'm almost crazy wishing spring would come.  But this year more than ever I wish the weather would hurry up and get warm so that baby boy and I can leave this house!  The doctor says once it's April and flu season is over, it will be safe to bring Caleb out and about; because for him to get sick would be way worse than another kid with no heart condition getting sick.  Caleb couldn't care less to be home all day, but his mama and big brother are counting down the days.  Makes me wonder if Caleb is going to be a homebody like his daddy or a people-person like his mommy.  Or a crazy firecracker-ball-of-energy like his brother.  Poor Jonah, he wants to get out of here and do something, ANYTHING.  The kid is getting cabin fever so bad he even wants to go with me to Caleb's doctor's appointments, and that is bad considering that Jonah loathes the doctor's office and likens his own visits to child abuse.  I guess compared to staying in the house another day, he's willing to take his chances that he won't be the one getting ow-ies.  

You know, I just realized that I started writing this post with no real idea of what I intended to write about.  I'm sitting here thinking, what is there to say?  What a nice change.  No desperate prayer requests.  No upcoming open-heart surgeries.  No traumatic experiences lately, with the exception of the enema I had to give Jonah the other day.  Yikes.  That was only Day Four of me being home alone with both kids, and I had to call Daniel at work and tell him to Come. Home. Now.  Jonah had been constipated for a few days and I was attempting to give him an enema by myself... stupid.  He was hysterical, naked on the floor on a towel and Caleb was in his bed crying, and I was crying and we were all a mess.  Then we became a messier mess when Jonah wriggled out of my arms in the middle of his enema and proceeded to poop all over himself, the floor, his mother... oh, the horror.  You can imagine the scene when Daniel walked in the door.  God love that man, he is the most patient, level-headed person I know.  He is the perfect partner for me, who had completely lost it by then.  Jonah and I were just holding each other, both covered in poop, crying and sweating from the overall stress of the situation.  That was the day I realized the answer to the question I'd been asking myself all week, "How on earth do people take care of more than one kid at a time?"  And the answer is, somebody just has to wait.  There might be consequences, such as poop on the floor, or a baby crying so long his little lips looked blue (sorry, Caleb), but there's no getting around the fact that I can't always do two things at once.  And now that I realize that this is inevitable, I have relaxed a bit and cut myself some slack.  Oh the joys of parenting!  I do think I'm getting better at this.  Each week I've felt a little more confident in my ability to take care of these little boys that God has entrusted to my care.  God, help me to be a giving, kind and patient mother who finds her confidence and security in You.  And help me to remember how quickly time goes by and not to wish it away, even the hard moments where I feel cooped up, or sleep-deprived, or like I might go insane when Jonah wants to watch his Bob the Builder dvd three times in a row.  Amen.

As for Caleb, he is doing great.  Thriving!  He is gaining weight really quickly and is smiling and cooing and I want to kiss his fat little cheeks right off his face.  At the doctor's office yesterday he weighed 9 lbs. 3 oz.  This is a victory!  Praise God for his little life.  Soon he'll make his world debut and we can stop being hermits and come out of the house.  Until then, pray for us to keep our sanity just a little longer.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

After Caleb's first trip back to St. Vincent's

We made the trip back today, for the first time since leaving.  It was so bizarre... it actually felt like going home.  Yuck, I don't like that going to a hospital feels so very familiar.  But thankfully today was a good day, a very smooth day filled with good news.  Dr. Kumar, Caleb's cardiologist, says he looks great.  He did an EKG on Caleb, checked how his circulation of blood in his heart is doing, checked his oxygen levels, and everything looked surprisingly good.  And he is still gaining weight like a champ!  Caleb now weighs in at 7 lbs. 9 oz. which means he's gained an entire pound and a half since leaving the hospital.  Wow!  The doctor was so pleased with him that he didn't schedule our next appointment until 6 weeks from now.  Maybe by then home will actually feel like home.

I wish I had more time to write, but for now I'll just have to leave it at that, a short update.  I will sign off by saying that I appreciate the people that are praying for us more than I will ever be able to say adequately.  It is an amazing gift that you are giving us, and our family really believes that prayer is the reason Caleb is alive and well.  So a million thank yous.