I came into the living room the other day and saw Caleb lying happily on the floor with stickers all over his face. I took them off, but not much later in the afternoon I came around the corner to find the following scene:
Jonah has just now come into a stage of being jealous of the time and attention I give to the baby, and this is a stage that is pushing me to my limits more than any other time in Jonah's little life. At times I feel really sorry for him and the changes he's experiencing, and at other times I have to literally go into another room and cry off some stress before I can go back and deal with his attitude. Today Jonah threw a small can of play-doh at Caleb and it hit him hard. Just to get attention. Caleb cried that pitiful cry like when he gets shots and he wouldn't stop for 20 minutes. It was the longest he's ever cried, ever. I think Jonah immediately felt sorry, but still screamed his way through his entire time-out. I didn't know which to do first, console Caleb or punish Jonah. Caleb was obviously in distress, so I picked him up first and tried, unsuccessfully, to discipline Jonah WHILE comforting Caleb. That didn't work. It was a stressful situation to say the least. This is such an intense time in our house. Jonah is like a ticking time bomb and I never know when he's going to go off.
Then there are these really sweet moments, like when I walked in on Jonah putting stickers on Caleb's chest. What was so sweet was the way Jonah was doing it; he was speaking to Caleb in a very gentle, quiet voice, saying, "You want some stickers, Cay-wub?" He was genuinely trying to share with his brother, and I could've squeezed him it was so precious. Or today, when Jonah asked if I would put Caleb down in Jonah's bed so he could sit next to him...
These are the moments that get me through those times when I'm convinced that I'm raising a couple of wild animals instead of two human children. These are also the moments that remind me why I choose to stay at home instead of have a career right now. This is so hard! But this is SO good!