Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Perspective

Caleb has a lot of "jokes" right now that he believes to be hilarious; they're not actually that funny, but he is so cute, and so popular with the nurses, that they laugh at him and now he thinks he's a comedian.  One of his favorite "jokes" is to pretend to sneeze.  Another is to put whatever he's eating on his head.  That one actually is pretty funny.  Looking over and seeing a half-eaten chicken nugget just resting on his head would make anyone laugh.  See picture below.




We have had several very good days in a row.  Caleb has been in a really good mood, and has even become much more social here at the hospital than he has ever been.  He calls his nurses by their names, plays and sings with whomever will give him attention.  It's actually awesome to see his little personality shining.

I have experienced a personal revival in the last couple days.  To be honest, all last week I was slowly sinking into a depression.  Every day I struggled to accept our circumstances and would fight off tears every time I thought about the life I am missing out on now that my family has been relocated to a hospital.  Then on Sunday while driving back to the hospital, I spent some much-needed time with God, alone and focused, and I started out just listening to some songs about Jesus.  I listened to one particular song over and over and just let the truth of the words sink into my head and my heart, and suddenly a thought came to me that was truly a break-through moment.  I thought about how excited I've been to go home and how that return to normal life will be such a precious experience after everything we've gone through.  I realized how my level of thankfulness and appreciation will be through the roof, because of how painful this time has been.  Because I will have experienced this contrast, this season of dark and painful times will make that homecoming so much brighter.  And THEN, I realized something even greater.  If I think THAT homecoming is going to be great, how much greater of a homecoming, how much sweeter and richer will it be the day that I walk into Jesus' presence in heaven?  After experiencing the depth of pain that this life can bring, how much more JOY will I know when I leave this world and step into the Kingdom of Heaven, when God makes me new, and makes Caleb new, and there will be no more tears or death or painful joints or sick hearts.  And in that moment, I was so overwhelmingly thankful for how hard life has been at times.  I was so thankful that this life hasn't been smooth and easy, because it's those of us who have suffered the most that can also know the deepest joy.  

And my heart swelled and I praised God at the top of my lungs and laughed and cried as I worshiped, and people passing me in their cars probably thought I was out of my mind.  And I was!  I was out of my mind with the thought of how beautiful our Savior is, and how much He really has saved me from... my sin, my hopelessness, my fear, it's all swallowed up by this love that is so much greater than I even understand.  All I had to do was think about His love for a little bit and I remembered that I don't live like those who have no hope.  And I've been smiling ever since.

The hope I have in Him doesn't erase my pain, but it changes it. It makes the pain bearable and it gives me the perspective that this is all so temporary.  The Bible says our lives are like the morning fog, which is here a little while and then it's gone.  What's amazing to me is that God doesn't just say, "Sorry this sucks, but someday you'll be with me in heaven so just endure it."  Instead, He comes right alongside me NOW, in THIS life, and gives me a joy and peace that has nothing to do with what I'm going through.  Who wouldn't want that?  Who wouldn't want Him?  

It's so strange to me that anyone is even reading these little blog entries... but if you are reading this, let me tell you that I'm so thankful that you care about Caleb and about us.  Thank you for keeping up with what's happening in our life.  And I hope that you'll forgive me for not being able to shut up about Jesus.  I like talking about Caleb, but I love talking about Jesus.  If you know Him too, then you understand.  And if you don't know Him, or you thought you did know Him and yet haven't experienced this joy and peace that I'm talking about, by all means let's chat.  I mean it.  March yourself up here to Room 4158 and let's talk.  I'm thrilled people are praying for Caleb, but the reason I write about his story is not so you know the details of our life; it's so you'll hear the REAL story I'm writing about, the story of a God who is worth following.  You might be praying for me, but please know I'm praying for you too.

15 comments:

  1. Kstie you are truly a powerful woman of God. Thank you so much for sharing everything you do about Caleb and especially about Jesus. Your blog means so much to me! Thank you for praying for me too. Will continue to storm the heavens on your families behalf. Blessings, Linda

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  2. This post is an answer to prayer. I had a feeling you might be depressed some, so happy you spent focused time with the Lord. He is amazing! Stay revived and revved up for Jesus! Love you and your family, will continue to pray! Brenda Shaffer your Sister in the Lord!

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  3. Katie, lots of people are reading your blogs even if we don't always leave a respond. You are touching a lot of people through your blogs not just emotional, but also spiritually. To see someone going through so much, yet to see have the joy of the Lord, can sometimes be overwhelming to some people, and then others are like wow, I WANT THAT!!! Keep doing what you are doing, and we will keep praying for your family, until the next blog, Thanks so much for you and your family's testimonials :)

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  4. Praying friend...

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  5. WOW! You and Daniel are amazing people...thank you for being transparent. Thank you for praising the Lord IN the circumstance...not because of it but IN it and THROUGH it. This is what it means....1 Peter 4:11
    If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. ....not exactly the verse I was look for but it works.
    Praying for Caleb! Ginger

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  6. Oh Katie! this is an answer to my prayers! My family and I are praying for Caleb every time God brings him to our thoughts..which is often! But I have been specifically adding you, your health both physically and emotionally to my prayer. I will continue to do so. I am home from work today with a sick girlie, so we will be praying for you extra today! Hugs.

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  7. Hey Katie, I have been reading your blog a praying for you guys and today you and God through you has blown me away - or maybe not away but closer. I haven't ever gone through suffering like you guys and yet often have to share God with people who have and are. I guess you'll remember Lene's teaching on praise and worship, well it sounds to me like you are a wonderful example of all she taught. It's amazing. I hope I can keep/get that amazing perspective on God if life gets anywhere near as tough. John 6:33. Love and blessings to you guys. Tim

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  8. Love this post! Jesus is so awesome-only He can help you see the perspective you are now seeing and only you can allow Him to help you see it. I am so happy Caleb is doing great-I love his little sense of humor! I can't wait until I stop coughing-I am heading right up to that room to see you all!
    Much love and many prayers to you and your sweet family.

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  9. Praise Him for the healing that is already taking place and for His Kingdom truly coming at Riley. Praying for all of you! Linda

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  10. I cannot tell you how incredibly blessed I am this morning after reading your post. You continue to amaze me when I read the blog. I sat here this morning with my husband after he had done his bible study and read your last entry. We wept together and felt so overwhelmed with joy that we worship the same God that you so beautifully spoke about. My family is praying for your family everyday. Thank you for sharing God's love with everyone. So many people will be touched. God will use this to help many to make the most important decision in their life. Keep on keeping on!

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  11. Oh well as usual here I am with tears in my eyes~but these are tears of joy! I know your heart Katie, and this has been my prayer for you during this difficult time~to Praise Him in the Storm! Your post today blessed me!!! Kisses and hugs for that little chicken nugget head~love you all~Miss Pam

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  12. Praising God with you for the peace and joy only He can give. Know your family is blanketed in prayer. Praise God Caleb's spirits are high and he is enjoying entertaining the nurses. I am sure he is one of their favorite patients!

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  13. Katie,
    I have been reading your blog and praying for your family. I cannot imagine the amount of stress you and Daniel are under, it warmed my heart this morning (Thanksgiving of all days) to see that you are feeling better. I'm sorry that you all are having to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital, but knowing you, I'm sure that you will make it special. I will continue to pray for all of you and tell the comedian to keep up the jokes.
    Amber (Chew) Block

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  14. I'm so proud of you guys! Don't ever be afraid to share your discouragement, that is what makes you so real and believable. You are in our hearts and prayers always. Love you. Aunt Judy

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  15. Thank you for this blog,it reminded me of "These are the words I would say," by the Sidewalk Prophets.
    Ashley S. from Warsaw

    ttp://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=8t9u-LOa3OI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D8t9u-LOa3OI

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