Yesterday I was at the hospital with Caleb by myself while Jonah and Daniel were home. I decided to go out to lunch by myself as a little treat. While trying to decide where to go, I texted Daniel and asked him, "On a scale of 1 to incredibly pathetic, where would you rate going to an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet for lunch by myself?" His reply was not in favor of this decision, so I thought better of it and went to a cafe instead. Pregnant or not, I should probably draw the line somewhere.
Monday was my day to be home with Jonah and we went to the little parade in our town. I love having these little normal life experiences, things some people might take for granted, but feel like heaven to me. It has been really hard to come back to the hospital the last couple times I have gone home. Obviously I am SO ready to see Caleb each time, but I just want to have a normal week and do normal things and actually live in the new house we bought. Daniel drove home to switch places that night, and as I drove back to Indy, I wondered how much longer we will have to do this. I talked to God about it a little, and I felt comforted. He reminded me that He is with me. And He reminded me to be patient while He builds my testimony. That was an encouraging thought; he is building a testimony for me. The process of that is painful, but I do get excited thinking about how God will use, and already does use, our story.
We are having a pretty good day today but I am anxious for my family to all be in one place again after being in separate places since Friday when Jonah left for my dad's. It is always a nice little reunion after some of us have been home. Caleb has asked every day where Jonah is and I was happy to be able to say, "He will be back today!" It especially helped because I don't think Caleb feels great today. He has been throwing up, and his heart rate has been super high and he is out of breath. Just stuff that happens with kids that have heart failure. I know he will perk up when his brother and daddy show up. And I will too.
We're just waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. And being hopeful. I have the picture in my head of Caleb getting a heart and us coming home in time to actually enjoy summer. He has never seen his own home, his own bedroom and play room. Or his own car. There's a whole new life awaiting him once he leaves this hospital. And I'm ready to introduce him to it!