This morning I walked over to the hospital from the Ronald McDonald House by myself while Daniel and Jonah spent the morning playing and spending some quality time together. It was good to go outside and talk to God on my way over. I can definitely feel His presence with me these last few days, reminding me how much He loves me and that He hasn't left me. Man, that's a good thing because I need Him so much right now. God is really keeping the depression at bay and helping me take this one day (or one hour) at a time. Good friends (and good parents) sure help. Wow, I love the people in my life. I don't know what I would do without them!
Caleb is reminding me this week that he is in fact a really sick kid, even though I forget sometimes after a string of good, boring days. The last few days Caleb's appetite has really decreased. They started counting his calories because he wasn't gaining weight, and as the week has gone on, he's been eating less and less and today even posted a slight weight loss. We talked with the doctors today and they're hoping it's just Caleb being a typical toddler and being picky. But if he doesn't start eating again by tomorrow night, they're going to increase his milirinone, which is the powerful drug he has in a continuous IV drip. It is literally contracting his heart. Being on milirinone is the reason he qualifies for the highest category on the transplant list; it's a big-time drug. What bothers me is that Caleb's already on such a high dose that there's not much room to increase. They're getting close to the maximum dosage, which makes me uncomfortable because we'll have no buffer zone after that. Plus, he needs to be gaining weight right now so he's strong enough for his transplant. Today when the doctors were a little concerned, it was like a gut punch. I forget sometimes just how sick he is and how badly he needs a new heart. But it's spurring me to pray hard for Caleb today and I wanted to invite you to do the same.
We need to pray:
1- That Caleb's appetite would come back and he would gain weight again.
2- That God would provide a heart for Caleb SOON! Let's pray that Caleb gets a heart THIS WEEKEND!
3-That Daniel and I would have control of our minds and not give in to fear.
Pray, pray, pray when you think of Caleb today. Prayer makes a real difference in the Kingdom of God so help us by speaking Caleb's requests to our Father!